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When do you know if it's time to divorce?

Every Illinois couple has problems. In fact, if you know a couple who seems to have a perfect marriage, you may be shocked to learn what transpires between them in their private moments. Still, you may feel at times as if your marriage is on the rocks more than not, and this can be frustrating and demoralizing, especially if your friends on social media are always celebrating their love.

While it is true that discord between spouses is normal, you may be wondering if your marriage has seen its better years. Deciding whether to divorce is a difficult choice. Although there is no single answer that fits all situations, there are signs that are common among those couples who decide to end their marriages.

Breaking free

You may remember a time when you couldn't imagine life without your spouse. In fact, part of the decision to marry is often based on the goal of sharing many new adventures, raising a family and growing old together. However, if you find yourself more and more often fantasizing about a life apart from your spouse, you may take this as a sign that things are not right in your marriage. Other signs include the following:

  • You have more bad days than good with your spouse.
  • Conversations with your spouse quickly turn defensive, or your spouse dismisses your feelings and opinions.
  • Memories of happiness and good times are getting farther and farther in the past.
  • You no longer feel enough connection with your spouse to share your private thoughts or goals.
  • There is no physical intimacy between you and your spouse, and you are okay with that.
  • Your spouse ignores your attempts to address the problems in the marriage.
  • You have already shut down and are no longer interested in fixing the issues.

Of course, it is still possible that you and your spouse can resolve some of these problems with therapy and hard work, but perhaps things are too far gone to regain the respect and compassion you had for one another. On the other hand, you may have tried counseling and other options to no avail.

If you are ready to move forward with divorce, there are some important steps to take before you file any papers, especially if you have children, complex assets, joint debt or other complications. Seeking advice from an attorney from the earliest possible moments in your plans can provide you with an advocate to counsel and guide you along the way.

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